Supportive Parenting: Need of the Hour
Speak to your children as if they are the wisest, kindest, most beautiful and magical humans on earth, for what they believe are what they will become — Brooke Hampton
Dr Rohi
Things unheard of, unknown to a community nestled in the Himalyas have started surfacing across the length and breadth of the Kashmir valley and the surge in such ghastly and heinous incidents have send shivers down the spine of masses. The trend of these ongoing homicides, suicides, and accidents hint at the lack of positive parenting besides the absence of other structural support system for a society that is struggling to lay aside the ghosts of its traumatic past.
While the absence of structural nuances for a healthy, vibrant and constructive graph needs a great detail of discussion, positive parenting however can be achieved by just creating more knowledge and awareness regarding its impacts. Parents are the foundation for love, support, and direction. Nothing is more reassuring and calming for a child, no matter how old they get, than their parent’s arms. But the parent negligence, improper parenting and enforcement of parents leads the child towards the ill behaviours like aggression, drug addiction, risky behaviour and so on and so forth, that in turn become problematic for the child himself and for the parents also.
Parents play a huge role in a child’s development that goes beyond simply providing guidance. As Islam also conveys a message that ‘parents should be role models of virtue for their children’. Millennial children who are exposed to versatilities of distractions find it difficult to find a connection with the ordinary. Not to mention how the dominance of the virtual world has mostly blinded children.
Parenting begins long before the birth a child and, with time, parents transform into their children’s alter egos, and vice versa. Nobody can mould and shape a child’s behaviour and development quite like them.
In order to be the best teacher in the life of children, parents should never miss an opportunity to encourage and support them. The first step in being a wise parent is to maintain a positive parent-child relationship. Parents should never use harsh punishment to correct problematic behavior. Instead, they proactively should fulfil emotional needs of their children through positive interactions, which can prevent a great deal of bad behavior from happening in the first place. Parents should be aware of their children’s immense reliability and accountability from the moment of their birth. Psychologists have also found that supportive parenting can boost self-esteem among the children and provide them the skills they need to make wise decisions. Also, it fosters their sense of self-worth, creativity, optimism, and interpersonal skills.
During adolescence, children acquire more from their friends than they do from their parents. Many young individuals at this age disregard the counsel and concerns of their parents. They start to draw inferences from their own experience, reflect on their mistakes, and learn from them. It is crucial for parents to be understanding and patient during this time. Youngsters who desire to feel independent may slam doors and refuse to do certain tasks. In this regard, Parents can build special rapport with their children by:
Using the Communication as a key
Communication is the cornerstone of any relationship. Discuss subjects other than school and education with your youngster. This contributes to stronger bonding between the parents and child.
Teaching children the moral values
It is sad to say that most of the parents have left these teachings to the community leaders, the Madrassa or others. Parents need to know enough to teach their children the moral values, the good and the bad and to get them on the path of best learning.
Creating positive learning environment at home
Environmental factors shape the attitude and behaviour. Children observe and absorb everything that surrounds them. Parents should play a critical role in creating favourable environment for the children.
Apologising: When you make a mistake
Being open and honest with each other can work wonders for your relationship. Put your ego aside and accept responsibility for your errors. So that the child can stand up for themselves during future endeavours.
Helping children in choosing righteous friends
The criteria to choose the friends must be defined for the children. If youngsters are not given the correct guidance when choosing friends, the results will be devastating and very harmful to both their life and the lives of their parents.
Playing with the child – as a child
Naturally, you spent a lot of time with your loved ones. In this situation, engage your child in an intriguing activity. They will eventually be able to refine their interests with this.
According to a recent study, parents who regularly engage with their kids are more likely to help them grow into successful adults by teaching them important cognitive and life skills. Focus, attention, and self-control are all skills that parents help their children to acquire.
Also, they enhance communication, perspective, empathy, and critical thinking. A child who has a supportive parent will never regret taking a chance, which helps them become self-reliant. The interactions between parents have a significant influence on a child’s physical and psychological development.
In every area, children tend to imitate their parents, independent of genetic heritage. This increases a parent’s responsibility to serve as a positive role model for their children. A parent’s efforts have a significant impact on their children.
Parents are the only ones who can consistently mould and support their children, despite the fact that every child is unique and special in their skills. Parents must make sure that their children are raised in a secure setting. A child that has received an exceptional upbringing will always make their parents happy.
“More than what you say, your children will learn from the attitude you model as a parent. Jim Henson’s quote, “children remember what you are,” alerts us to the importance of parents in a child’s life and supports the significance and influence of parents.
Parenting is the most important responsibility one faces during a life time. In the current scenario it is most challenging. A great deal of efforts, dedication, sincerity, rationality and will power is needed to carry it out. Parents, the only authority have the duty to protect their children’s rights and protect them against cruelty and abuse. If not you then who!!!
The writer is acolumnist, blogger and a practising Mental Health Psychologist at Lisners- India’s leading Mental Health and Well Being App. [email protected]
