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Victim mentality prompts ‘poor-me attitude’

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By:  Shabeer Rather/Umer peerzada

As a matter of natural tendency we tend to lean to side where we can blame someone or something for our disabilities and our failures. It is very uncomfortable to admit our irresponsibility as it magnifies our derelictions accepting which demands courage and only a value driven person can do so as is backed by various psychological and empirical researches.

This trait makes us impuissant and incapable of withstanding our problems. The enthusiasm to fight our derelict fades away with time. This is because we do not count our inept responsible for our situation but the institutions, circumstances, options, people and so on.

Law of diminishing returns apply here as what we believe with conviction we make that a reality but our practice denigrates our results. We aim for Everest summit, practice for Elbur’s but barely reach Shankaracharya (hillock). This shouldn’t be considered a vague argument as modern day psychologists adduce when we lose faith we lose courage and perseverance; and before realizing we are half-way done, we quit.

It’s not because we get afraid, but we stop as we fail to master over that fear, and success comes when we conquer not what lies before us but what lies within us. Why do we believe what we believe? Education we get, environment to which we belong, the circumstances we stuck in, are raised, and our experiences are prime factors which shape our beliefs and precipitate into who we are as an individual. We create realities out of what we conceive and believe. “There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure,” says Paulo Coelho (The Alchemist)

The moment we start to believe we are powerless and portray ourselves as victims, we give circumstances, situation and system a reason to depreciate our abilities and above that we develop habit of making excuses and procrastination which brings nothing but failures and make our lives a Gehenna. This victim card game prompts no positivity to our results but incline us to decadence.

I asked one of my teachers why do we fail? “Well, because we doubt ourselves and let others to decide what shall we believe in” is what he replied. It’s not about believing in the authenticity of the institutions to which we raise our eyebrows, but before we believe in anything we have to believe in ourselves. Life is never compassionate towards the victims. The trick is not to be the one. Our preconceived notions reveal dark side of our failure mentality.

Remember HAL Elrod — “the moment you accept responsibility for everything in your life is the moment you gain the power to change anything in your life.”

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