The recent rape and murder case in Budgam left people angry, heartbroken and deeply disturbed. Across Kashmir, voices were raised demanding justice and questioning the direction society is moving toward. The incident once again exposed a painful reality that crimes against women are no longer being seen as isolated incidents. They are becoming a serious social concern that demands collective introspection and accountability.
We Ignore Small Red Flags, Big Crimes Become Inevitable
After watching the interviews and reactions surrounding the accused, many people pointed out that he belonged to a religious and educated family background. He reportedly offered prayers, kept fasts and appeared normal within society. This raises an important question: if someone appears religious or socially respectable, does that automatically make them morally safe? The answer is no.
Big crimes do not happen in isolation. They often grow silently through smaller behaviours and repeated actions that society ignores. No individual suddenly transforms into a violent criminal overnight. There are always warning signs, patterns of behaviour and attitudes that are normalised or excused.
Unfortunately, society often focuses more on policing women, how they dress, speak, walk or behave, while ignoring the conduct of men. The silence around harassment, stalking, abusive comments and misogynistic behaviour slowly creates an environment where larger crimes become possible.
The Official Numbers Already Show a Serious Problem
As per the reports of NCRB, the Union Territory saw a reduction in crime from 31,675 cases in 2021 to 29,595 cases in 2023. In 2023, there were 84 murders, 231 cases of rape, 1,004 cases of kidnapping, and 1,352 cases of assault on women.
These are only officially reported incidents. Many cases never reach police stations because victims fear social judgment, humiliation, pressure or fear. Behind every statistic is a human being whose dignity, safety and mental peace were shattered.
The increasing numbers are not merely data. They reflect a growing social and moral crisis that requires serious attention from families, institutions, educators, religious leaders and society as a whole.
Every Woman Deserves Safety and Respect
This issue is not about “someone else’s daughter.” Every woman is someone’s mother, sister, daughter or wife. More importantly, every woman is a human being deserving dignity, freedom and protection.
A society that cannot protect its women slowly loses its humanity. Victims should never fear society more than criminals. Unfortunately, many women remain silent because they fear being blamed, questioned or labelled more than they fear the offender himself.
Red Flags Society Often Ignores
There are many behaviours that society dismisses as “normal,” “boys being boys,” or “small issues.” Yet these behaviours often become the foundation of larger crimes.
Some of these warning signs include:
- Racist or degrading remarks
- Judging women based on appearance
- Considering hijabi women superior to non-hijabi women
- Sitting outside shops and passing comments
- Staring at women in roads, buses and public spaces
- Using abusive or vulgar language
- Making assumptions about women without consent or understanding
- Ignoring violence against women in neighbourhoods by calling it a “family matter”
- Remaining silent after witnessing injustice
These behaviours may appear “small” to some people, but repeated silence normalises disrespect and harassment.
The Silent Damage to Women
Violence against women is not limited to physical assault or murder. Constant judgement, emotional pressure, character assassination, harassment and societal control also damage mental health and identity.
From childhood, many girls grow up carrying fear, restrictions and emotional burdens. They are taught how to stay safe, how to avoid attention and how to remain silent, while boys are rarely taught accountability, emotional discipline and respect toward women.
Both men and women need proper boundaries, communication, mutual respect and moral responsibility. Religious appearance alone cannot define character. True morality is reflected through behaviour, empathy and treatment of others.
Social Media and Normalised Harassment
Today, online abuse and trolling have become normalised. When men pass vulgar remarks online, many dismiss them as “freedom of expression” or “just trolling.” But when women respond, they are often labelled disrespectful or characterless.
Instead of holding offenders accountable, society worries about the criminal’s reputation, family image or future career. This mindset protects wrongdoers while isolating victims further. This is where society makes a dangerous mistake.
Introspection is Important
The Budgam case should not only lead to anger for a few days. It should force society to reflect deeply on the attitudes, behaviours and silences that allow such crimes to grow.
Instead of asking only how such a crime happened, society must also ask:
How many warning signs were ignored?
How many inappropriate actions were excused?
How many victims remained unheard?
How many red flags were overlooked simply because the offender was a man?
Real change will only begin when society stops normalising smaller wrongs and starts building a culture of accountability, dignity and respect for every woman.
The writer is a social educator and researcher, Master’s in Gender Studies and a Bed. shoaibhat2018@gmail.com
