As wedding costs rise and social pressure grows, the true spirit of Nikah is being lost. Keeping Nikah simple is our shared religious, moral, and social responsibility.
Who bears the responsibility of making Nikah simple? Parents, religious scholars, community leaders, young people, or society at large? The honest answer is simple: all of us. Across many communities, marriage is gradually drifting away from its spiritual purpose and becoming an expensive social event. Parents often find themselves under immense pressure to finance lavish ceremonies, elaborate feasts, costly gifts, designer clothing, and extravagant decorations. Families with modest means may borrow money, sell assets, or deplete lifelong savings simply to meet social expectations. This should concern us all.
“Nikah”, in Islam, is a sacred covenant that establishes a lawful and dignified relationship between husband and wife. It is intended to create a foundation for love, responsibility, companionship, and family life. Its purpose is not to display wealth, compete with others, or impress guests. Yet, in practice, marriages are increasingly judged by the scale of celebration rather than the strength of commitment.
The question we must ask is straightforward: have we made marriage unnecessarily difficult? For many families, arranging a marriage has become one of the most expensive obligations of life when celebration becomes a burden. A father may spend decades saving for his daughter’s wedding. A mother may sacrifice her own needs to meet what society considers a “respectable” standard. Families often incur debt, not because the expenses are essential, but because they fear criticism, comparison, or social embarrassment. Much of this burden arises not from necessity but from perception. If one family hosts an extravagant celebration, in a race to”dekha dekhi,” others feel compelled to follow. If one wedding becomes a display of wealth, simplicity is viewed as inadequacy(shikaslad _kashmiri slander. Gradually, social prestige begins to outweigh financial prudence, common sense, and even religious guidance.
“I’ll ask the people in these glass houses first.”Since when did the success of a marriage become dependent on the size of the banquet hall, the number of guests, or the cost of the bride’s attire?
A successful marriage is not built on a single day’s display. It is built upon trust, character, mutual respect, patience, and shared responsibility. The value of a marriage should be measured by the quality of the relationship, not the cost of the celebration.
The Responsibility Begins at Home. Meaningful change starts within families. Parents must recognise that their children’s future does not depend on extravagant weddings. Marriage should not become a financial burden that overshadows the joys of family life. Honest conversations about affordability and realistic expectations are essential. Parents should also resist the temptation to equate family honour with public display. Honour lies in raising children of character, integrity, and faith, not in staging costly ceremonies.
Young men and women have responsibilities too. They must challenge unrealistic expectations and show sensitivity to their parents’ circumstances. A bride or groom who knowingly insists on unnecessary extravagance should reflect on the emotional and financial consequences of that demand.Likewise, prospective in-laws should never judge a family by its ability to host lavish functions or provide expensive gifts. No family should feel inferior because it chooses moderation.
Religious scholars, imams, mosque committees, and elders can promote modest weddings through sermons, discussions, and community engagement, helping families distinguish Islamic teachings from cultural customs and social competition.The Qur’an warns against wastefulness and teaches moderation. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) encouraged ease in marriage, emphasising faith, character, and goodwill over displays of wealth.Islam does not forbid celebration or demand identical weddings. Families may honour their traditions and means while avoiding waste, coercion, extravagance, and financial hardship. The goal is not to remove joy from weddings, but to free them from unnecessary burdens.
Society must stop rewarding extravagance. Social pressure often pushes even simplicity-minded families to overspend, as guests and relatives judge weddings by menus, venues, decorations, and gifts rather than values. These attitudes fuel an unhealthy cycle. When communities respect moderation instead of extravagance, families can celebrate without exceeding their means. Guests should appreciate hospitality rather than scrutinise expenditure. Relatives should support families that choose simplicity rather than ridicule them. Community organisations can promote awareness campaigns encouraging affordable weddings and realistic expectations.
Mosques, social groups, and neighbourhood associations can promote simpler marriages while respecting families’ circumstances. Cultural change begins when simplicity earns respect, not criticism. Yet the long-term costs of extravagant weddings, especially delayed marriages, are often underestimated.Families often postpone marriages until they accumulate sufficient funds to meet social expectations. This can create unnecessary delays, stress, uncertainty, and frustration for both parents and young people. To be clear, financial expectations are not the only reason marriages are delayed. Education, employment, compatibility, maturity, and personal readiness are all legitimate considerations. Yet unrealistic wedding expenditures frequently become an avoidable obstacle.
The objective is not to rush people into marriage. Couples should be emotionally mature, responsible, and prepared for the realities of married life. The objective is simply to remove artificial financial barriers while preserving the genuine foundations of a stable marriage.An expensive wedding cannot guarantee happiness. A modest Nikah cannot prevent future challenges. What ultimately determines success is character, communication, mutual respect, patience, and commitment.
Let us begin today. Every meaningful reform begins with a decision. Let parents resolve not to burden themselves with unaffordable expenses. Let young people understand that happiness is not measured by the scale of a wedding celebration. Let prospective in-laws reject unnecessary demands. Let scholars and community leaders encourage simplicity with wisdom and compassion. Above all, let us remember that money spent on needless display could be invested in the future of a young couple, used for education, housing, essential needs, or even helping those less fortunate.
Nikah is not a competition. It is a commitment. It is not an exhibition of wealth but the beginning of a shared life. It should unite families, not push them into debt; spread happiness, not anxiety; and invite Allah’s blessings, not social rivalry. For the true beauty of Nikah lies not in the grandeur of the ceremony, but in the sincerity of the union and the life of faith, love, and responsibility that follows. Let simplicity guide our Nikah, affordability shape our choices, and dignity unite our families. Avoid needless expenses and honour every family’s financial means. Whose duty? Everyone’s. Whose responsibility? Ours, collectively.
May Allah guide our families toward wisdom, protect parents from unnecessary financial burdens, bless our youth with righteous spouses, and fill our homes with love, mercy, and tranquillity.
(Author is a physician and independent Sr. columnist who writes regularly on ethics, faith, character, and the social values that strengthen individuals, families, and communities. He can be reached at drfiazfazili@gmail.com.
