When he entrusted me with his story, I wondered why. Perhaps he hoped that someone would understand and not judge. Perhaps he wanted others to know that addiction is not always the end of a person’s story.
His life did not begin with drugs. Like many others, he had dreams, responsibilities, and potential. But somewhere along the way, circumstances, choices, and vulnerabilities led him into addiction. What followed were years marked by loss, regret, and the slow erosion of the person he once was.
Human mysteries can be unfolded in strange ways. I didn’t know that I was trustworthy enough to be entrusted with a bad chapter of someone’s life. It was a mixture of childhood, family drama, and entry into drug addiction.
In the beginning, it was all about curiosity, trying to be influential, or getting validation in his peer group. In 2014, when he was studying in the 9th standard, he started with cigarette smoking because of societal stimulation and, moreover, by copying some family members.
Gradually, smoking was followed by weed, sourced mostly from South Kashmir and from some parts of North Kashmir as well, which would give a sense of relief from anxiety and aid in mood elevation.
“When weed became almost intolerable to me, the hunt for Tramadol, Anxit, and Clonazepam was my only goal,” he told me. As a healthcare worker, I was shocked by the availability of these drugs without a doctor’s prescription, and he simply replied that you can get them at higher prices from a local pharmacy, just like bringing vegetables from the market.
“In 2018, I became addicted to heroin, both by inhalation and intravenous use. At that time, the cost per gram was 1,500 rupees, and the dealers were urging us to buy it. After 2019, it got a little costlier but was available on almost every street of Srinagar, and today it’s almost 6,000 rupees a gram.”
When I asked how he managed money for the drugs, he told me that they were already among the influential people in society, and boys who wanted to be like them looked up to them and arranged the money anyway.
He told me that half the reason for drug addiction is that you simply want to be like the one who is into addiction. Comparison with other children by his parents added to it.
“Heroin gave the feeling of being high in the sky, euphoria, followed by grandiosity. Its addiction was brutal because you needed a shot every morning. Heroin addiction was just like life on a ventilator, impossible to survive without taking it. Withdrawals were brutal: insomnia, pain, sweating, feeling hot and cold simultaneously, restlessness, anxiety, and intentions of self-harm.”
Heroin addiction continued for years. After that, he somehow managed to get Buprenorphine and other substitutes as replacements for heroin from another person who was admitted to a drug de-addiction center. But their withdrawals were worse than heroin’s.
“How did you quit it?”
“Recovery did not happen overnight. It demanded courage, honesty, and countless decisions to choose tomorrow over temporary escape,” he said.
“My family was really worried about me. I couldn’t bear the tears of my mother. Loneliness was gripping me completely, and I wanted to overcome it. Most importantly, I feared Hepatitis C. When I found out that I was Hepatitis C positive and searched about the disease, I was really worried. I strictly followed the treatment regimen for three months in a hospital and fully recovered after some time.”
“Physical activity helps. Hitting the gym helped a lot in reclaiming my health. Most importantly, strong determination is needed above all.”
“What was most challenging was the fear of people and their gazes upon me, the fear of being judged by them. So I often lived alone, locked inside my room.”
Today, he is not defined by the worst chapter of his life. He is defined by what came after it. He earns a respectable livelihood, working in a reputed institution, lives with dignity, and carries his past not as a chain, but as a reminder of how far he has come.
His story reminds us that while addiction can consume a life, recovery can restore one. Sometimes, the strongest people are not those who never fall, but those who find the strength to rise again.
His journey also reminds us that while individual determination is essential, preventing addiction and supporting recovery require collective responsibility.
Every other day, we come across rallies, drug de-addiction campaigns, and Nasha Mukt Bharat Abhiyan. But do these initiatives really translate into action at the ground level, or are they often reduced to photography and content creation?
1) Mental healthcare accessibility: We have very limited mental health resources. Do we have a mental health clinic within a 10 km radius? While specialists such as surgeons, physicians, and cardiologists are available in many places across Kashmir, psychiatrists’ clinics and trained counsellors remain scarce.
2) Changing health-seeking behaviour: We often hesitate to seek mental health support: a failure in our health behaviour. Just as we ignore minor physical ailments until they become serious, we tend to neglect psychological distress until it grows into a full-fledged problem that affects us socially and economically.
3) Reducing availability: Unless and until these substances become difficult to access, drug addiction will remain preventable only in theory. Easy availability continues to fuel addiction.
4) Strengthening family support: Family support is vital throughout the journey of de-addiction. Understanding, patience, and encouragement from loved ones can significantly improve the chances of recovery.
5) Building a non-judgmental society: As a society and community, we must ensure that the world is unbiased towards people recovering from addiction. Let them rebuild their lives with dignity, without constantly being reminded of the worst chapters of their past. See this, are preventive measures out in the appropriate place. Check everything. But don’t change words and style of the author.
Note: The story narrated in this article is based on a real-life account. Certain identifying details have been withheld to protect the individual’s privacy and confidentiality.
Farhanna Shafiq is an Intensive Care Nurse, GMC, Jammu. She can be reached at farhanna435@gmail.com
