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The silent poison behind rising divorces in Kashmir 

LAILA TU NISA by LAILA TU NISA
May 23, 2026
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Marriage is not merely a social contract; it is the foundation upon which families, societies, and nations are built. A healthy marriage produces emotionally stable children, peaceful homes, and morally strong communities. But today, this very foundation is shaking. Divorce rates are increasing rapidly, and society continues to ignore the real causes behind this destruction. We discuss divorce casually, but we rarely question the deep wounds that are silently poisoning relationships from within.

One of the biggest causes of rising divorces today is extra-marital affairs. What was once considered shameful and immoral has now slowly become normalised. In countless homes, relationships are collapsing because loyalty has lost its value. Behind many divorces lies betrayal, emotional disconnection, and hidden relationships that destroy trust completely. But the roots of this issue are far deeper than people realise.

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In many families, children are never given the freedom to express their emotions or choices openly. A daughter grows up in fear, unable to speak about her feelings, her dreams, or the person she wishes to marry. Even many sons cannot gather the courage to speak honestly before their parents regarding their choice of partner. Society often imposes decisions upon young people without understanding their emotional compatibility. As a result, forced and unhappy marriages take place — marriages where understanding is absent, emotional support is weak, and love becomes nothing more than a compromise.

When two people are forced into a relationship without mutual understanding, frustration slowly turns into emotional distance. They begin to carry anger, disappointment, and regret within themselves. The happiness they once desired is never achieved, and eventually many seek emotional attachment elsewhere. This leads to affairs, depression, endless conflicts, and finally divorce. Homes are destroyed, lives are ruined, and yet society remains silent because no one wants to expose the harsh reality.

Another dangerous catalyst for divorce is family interference, an issue so normalized that speaking against it invites criticism rather than support.  In many households, newly married couples are denied the privacy and emotional space they desperately need. Every decision, every disagreement, and every personal matter becomes a subject of family control and interference.

Religion teaches balance, justice, and mutual respect, yet society has twisted many teachings according to its own convenience. A husband is responsible for caring for both his wife and his parents, but society unfairly shifts the entire burden of sacrifice onto women. A daughter-in-law is expected to obey every instruction, fulfil endless expectations, and sacrifice her individuality silently. If a husband supports his wife emotionally, he is mocked and labelled as “controlled by his wife.” This mindset is deeply toxic.

The hypocrisy becomes even more painful when we compare how sons and daughters are treated. If a boy is in a relationship, families often smile, laugh, and accept it casually. But when a girl expresses her feelings or preferences, she is silenced, judged, or even punished. If religion declares immoral relationships wrong, then they are wrong equally for both men and women. Why then does society appreciate one and suppress the other? This double standard is one of the greatest ironies of our time.

The worst victims of divorce, however, are children. Parents may separate from one another, but the emotional consequences are carried by children for the rest of their lives. A child raised amidst constant fights, emotional abuse, court cases, accusations, and broken relationships slowly loses emotional security. Many children grow up suffering from loneliness, aggression, depression, anxiety, and emotional instability. Some turn towards drugs, violence, or self-destruction because they never experienced peace within their own homes.

We often say that children are the future of the nation. But what kind of future can we expect when children grow up watching relationships collapse before their eyes? A child learns from the environment around him. If parents constantly fight, disrespect one another, and use abusive language, then the child loses the opportunity to learn basic morals, compassion, and emotional balance. Today’s aggression, violence, and lack of respect within society are not appearing suddenly; they are deeply connected to the broken emotional structures within families.

The solution to this crisis lies not only in laws but in changing mindsets. Parents must understand that marriage is not their personal project; it is the life of two human beings. Children should be allowed to express their choices, concerns, and emotional preferences without fear. Mutual understanding and consent must become more important than social pressure and family ego.

At the same time, society must stop treating privacy between husband and wife as rebellion. Giving a married couple emotional and personal space does not destroy families; it strengthens relationships. Separate living arrangements are not a sign of disrespect towards parents. In many cases, they protect marriages from unnecessary interference and constant misunderstandings.

Most importantly, we must return to the moral teachings we claim to follow. Religion teaches justice, dignity, equality, mercy, and kindness — not control, emotional oppression, or double standards. We cannot expect peaceful homes while practising hypocrisy within our own families.

If society continues ignoring these realities, then divorce will continue spreading like a silent poison through future generations. We are not merely losing marriages; we are losing emotional stability, moral values, and the very purpose of family life itself.

The time has come to stop pretending that everything is normal. Silence is no longer wisdom. Silence is destruction.

Email Lailatunisa7@gmail.com

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LAILA TU NISA

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