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LOYALTY IN KINSHIP

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By: Dr Imtiyaz Rasool Ganai

Relationships and loyalty in kinship are the strongest and most important bonds as familial bonds are actually force of social cohesion. The strength of relationship and sense of solidarity is more in kinship due to mutual concern among its members and the harmonious bond minimizes disparities and discord among relatives. Social conviction and  trust creates a sense of belonging, consideration and care among the relatives in kinship and fosters social cohesion and strong relationship as people share better and bitter experiences with one another without any hesitation. 

Mutual trust and understanding in kinship help members to resolve the problems and challenges in a pleasant manner as it teaches the members art of conflict resolution and management. The upbringing of children under good interpersonal relationships is a positive thing and such children become able to form better bonds outside home and good social relationship in the society. 

For maintaining the loyalty and fidelity in kinship, it is vital to have good communications and contacts among the members. Communication makes them able to talk and listen to each other in day-to-day affairs. The feeling of togetherness makes people share their feelings and is the main pivot of good kinship. Togetherness makes people supportive to each other in thick and thin which would facilitate them to face the challenges. The trust people repose in one another helps them share painful experiences and distressing situations and therefore inculcating potent energy and attitude to show resilience in odd situations. The importance of kinship is vital for moral and social development as well.

Islam has emphasized people to maintain the ties of kinship- in holy Quran Allah SWT says “fear Allah through whom you demand your mutual rights and don’t cut the relations of the wombs (kinship)”Quran( 4.1). Maintaining ties of kinship has been made obligatory as Muslims are commanded to be kind and merciful with friends and family and help each other in various situations .

The good relations with kith’s and kin play a positive role in society which consequently leads to unity and trust among the members. Allah SWT has warned us against severing the ties of kinship. Allah says in Holy Quran, “And those who break the covenant of Allah (SWT) after its ratification and sever that which Allah has commanded to join, they sever the bond of kinship and are not good to their relatives and work mischief in the land, on them is the curse (i.e. they will be far away from Allah’s mercy.) And for them is the unhappy (evil) home” Quran (13.25)

People should abstain from severing ties with relatives on trivial and pretty things as such act deprives them from the great reward of maintaining ties of kinship. To sever ties with relatives is included among major sins which deprives us from blessings and reward of Allah in this world and hereafter. Beloved Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “The one who severs the ties with the relatives will not be among the first to enter paradise rather this person will enter it after being tortured in Hellfire.”(Al Bukhari).

We live in such a society where value of relations is now diminishing, people remain at loggerheads with relatives for years, enmity is bitterly pervading, hatred, malice, envy and prejudice has eaten the vital of our social fabric. We least care to mend the ties of kinship and rather consider it irrelevant and unimportant! Materialistic approach and mundane ambitions have turned us blind. We forget the fact that human development is possible in social relations. Children do not recognize relatives for years so they are deprived of feelings and value of kinship and thus social contacts are taking a back seat. In most of the cases we use social media for connecting, but the affection and honor we get in contacts and meeting in person with relatives is unparalleled.

We must take lead in maintaining social ties in kinship and make reconciliation, if ever we drift away from each other. We must not hesitate to take initiatives to maintain the ties and should not shy away to take lead.

We have lost peace of mind, tranquillity and satisfaction because we are not touching the natural cords of kinship. We cannot live in solitary environment and in solitude by ignoring the intimacy and connections with relative. Friendship is good and transitive but kinship is permanent and long lasting provided we care for it in candid approach. Friendship is not a substitute to kinship but only supportive so mend the ways to maintain the relations for perpetual bliss.

The writer is environmental activist. 

 

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