By the parents, of the parents, for the parents!
By: Bashir Ahmad Dar
Rights and duties are two inseparable entities. They go hand in hand. Every person has certain duties and for the effective fulfilment of these duties their knowledge is a prerequisite. It is only after a person has performed the duties that rights follow. Performing duties effectively and enjoying rights handsomely makes life beautiful.
Right from the beginning, a person holds multiple socials, economic and political as well as relegious identities and every identity associates itself with some rights and duties. For instance, as a student your rights are that you get good education, best teachers to teach you and opportunities to play in school. But it is your duty to work hard and excel in studies. You are also bound to abide by the rules and regulations of your school. Similarly, as a kid in your family, it is your right that you get a safe and secure environment. You get a house to live in. You get love from your parents and siblings and everyone else residing with you. But, at the same time you are obliged to respect your elders, listen to their advices and not to mock your family members. So, basically as a son or daughter, your rights constitute the duties of your parents. Likewise, as you grow and turn to youth, you owe your parents the love, affection and care that you received from them in your childhood.
Parents top the list of blessings and deserve utmost love, respect and affection. It is your parents who are most sincere to you, who love you unconditionally, who despite all worries and sorrows, not only raise you but also want to see you at the highest level of achievement. Only an orphan can tell you how it feels to be without parents. The world seems intimidating as hell without family, friends, peers etc. The world is a concoction of bitterness and indignation for those who lack these privileges. So, value what you have.
Islam has made it obligatory for us to obey parents and love them. Islam has told us to seek paradise under the feet of your mother and enter the paradise through the gate (your father). So, God has made it mandatory for us to care for our parents and respect them beyond measures. Like Islam, every other religion has laid special emphasis on love and respect for the parents.
But things aren’t in the ideal shape every time and we see instances when aged parents are looked down upon and misbehaved. Often while making important family decisions you completely sideline your aged parents. They are watching you as mute spectators, while you take decisions and you don’t bother to ask their view because you think that the old-age has taken a toll on their wit. Do you know how painful it is for them to see their exclusion from the very family matters of the same family which they had so carefully nurtured with their sweat and blood?
You play with your spouse and kids while your parents are watching and you don’t have a word of love and kindness for them. You think it is fair? Your own kids are watching you. Remember, children are the best observers and imitators of things. What you do to your parents, will surely be ambulated by your children. So beware, what comes around goes around and there are ample examples around us to gauge this fact from real life incidents. One has to have the humility and affection that is needed by parents particularly when they are in old age.
Medical concerns are common in old age. Chronic ailments attack the elderly people easily because of decreased immunity and often need medication and care. It is unfortunate that some people deem their parents as parasites and often reject them to endless seclusion.
The writer is a teacher and can be reached at [email protected]