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Being Mother

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Mother’s Day falls on May 12 and we must pay our obeisance  

By: Shahnaz Husain

May is finally here and Mother’s day falls on 12.

The honor of having the title, “Mom” comes with a price. Many new mothers suffer from approximately 1.5 to 2 weeks of sleep deprivation just in the first year alone.

There is a beautiful saying by Rudyard Kipling, “God could not be everywhere and so he made mothers.” Yes, motherhood is an honour that is God’s gift to women. All over the world, a mother is venerated and loved. The mother-child relationship is like no other. A mother’s instinct is the strongest and this can be seen among all species on this earth. As a woman, I feel fortunate to have experienced the unmatched joy of becoming a mother. I am also fortunate that I could discover the joys of this most wonderful relationship. To me, motherhood is unconditional and selfless love, without any exceptions. Mothers’ Day is a celebration of this unconditional love, which only a mother can bestow. I think the mother-child relationship is the greatest bond. I have experienced both the extreme joy and the extreme pain of motherhood.

I was only 16 when my daughter Nelofar was born. Early motherhood has its advantages. We grew up together, like two sisters. There is nothing more beautiful than growing up with your own child. I remember our trips to London, where we would have the most wonderful time shopping and giggling like two schoolgirls.

I have also faced the grief and loss of my son. The depth of the loss of one’s child is impossible to measure or even understand. One is left to deal with it in one’s own way. But I surrendered totally to God’s Will. It gave me inner strength and I emerged stronger from tragedy and adversity.

On Mother’s Day, I remember my mother too. She was a princess from the royal family of the Nizams of Hyderabad. She was a beautiful woman, petite and delicate. She had a fair "milk and roses" flawless complexion. It is from her that I learnt to value natural and traditional beauty treatments. She followed beauty treatments at home, mixing various herbs and natural ingredients, to care for her skin and hair.

I opened my first herbal clinic in my own home. So, I was always there when my children needed me. When they returned from school, they would find me at home, in my clinic. Unlike the children of other working mothers, they did not have to wait for me to return home from work. Very often, my daughter would help out in the clinic, with the treatments. I think it was the greatest learning of all for her. It was also a most interesting and exciting phase, because the business was just growing and she could participate in my journey to success.

No matter how hectic and demanding my work has been, I always made it a point to get away for a vacation, with my children. The moments I cherish today are the holidays spent with my children when they were much younger. I also looked forward to weekends which we spent at our herb and flower farm near Delhi. This is the place where I went to unwind and relax and also enjoy moments of togetherness with my children.

Today’s woman has to cope with many full-time roles – of wife, mother and career woman. Then there are the social demands of friends and family, especially in the Indian context, where much importance is placed on family relationships and ties. However, in the modern context, the children of working mothers grow up to be independent and responsible. In fact, the children actually admire and appreciate their mothers who play so many roles. Working mothers are also likely to be better groomed, younger looking and more broad minded. They may also be better advisers to their children and help them to cope with the competitive world we live in today.

Times have changed and are changing, but the fact remains that a mother is and will always be the selfless soul, who considers her children’s happiness before her own. They say, in the love of our mother we feel the love of God. Value and honour your mother on Mother’s Day!

The author is international fame beauty expert and is called Herbal Queen of India

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