Dr.Shiben Krishen Raina

Misunderstandings in Relationships

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Misunderstandings can create havoc both in our social and family life. Usually, misunderstandings emerge because of incomplete information or lack of knowledge about the facts put forth. Needless to say, in our male-dominated society, husband-wife strained relations owe so much to this “misunderstanding” factor.

A retired elderly person sought advice from the doctor: “Doctor, I think my wife has started hearing hard day-by-day. Any solution?”

The doctor explained: “Before I propose any ‘hearing-aid,’ you please do one thing. Converse with her from a distance of 40 feet. If she listens, then it is okay, otherwise, keep a distance of 30 feet. If she still doesn’t hear your conversation, reduce the distance to 20 feet and thus keep on reducing the distance till she hears what you have said to her. Please give me the report later.”

On returning home the same evening, the husband saw that his wife was cooking in the kitchen. The opportunity was appropriate. He stayed 40 feet away from the kitchen and raised his voice: “Listen, what is the vegetable being made today?”

There was no answer. He reduced the distance now to 30 feet and repeated the question. Even then no answer came forth. Even after a distance of 20 feet, when no answer came up from his wife, the elderly husband spoke loudly this time from a distance of five feet, “I am asking what the vegetable is being cooked today?” Then, too, there was no reply.

The elderly was now convinced that his wife was really hard of hearing. He came very near to her and nearly cried out, “I am asking, what is the vegetable made today?”

Now it was his wife’s turn. She retorted: “I have repeated five times that the potato recipe (Damaloo) has been prepared. Tell me how many more times I have to repeat it?”

Look at the irony, the man himself had a hearing problem but would put the blame on his wife.

The story carries a lesson. The relationship between husband and wife demands mutual trust and respect. The more admiration and esteem couples have for each other, the more will the relationship flourish and strengthen. Love, reconciliation and credence are essential for any kind of relationship.

These factors become even more important in the relationship between husband and wife, especially in the relationships of those couples whose marital life has overtaken time and travelled a long way.



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