Motherhood has been discussed, celebrated and described in countless words. Poets have compared a mother’s love to the purest form of affection, writers have portrayed her sacrifices as immeasurable, and societies across generations have placed mothers on a pedestal of respect. Yet, despite all this admiration, an important question remains: do we truly understand what it means to honour a mother?
Islam offers an answer that goes far beyond emotional appreciation. It does not treat motherhood merely as a beautiful human relationship; it places the rights of parents, particularly the mother, within the framework of faith, moral responsibility and accountability before Allah.
One of the most remarkable aspects of the Quran is the manner in which it places kindness towards parents immediately after the command to worship Allah alone. In Surah Al-Isra, Allah says that He has decreed that people worship none but Him and show kindness to their parents. The verses go further, instructing believers not even to express irritation towards them when they reach old age, nor to speak harshly to them, but to address them with honour and humility.
This instruction carries a profound message. Respect for parents is not limited to occasions, family gatherings or public expressions of affection. It is reflected in everyday behaviour, in the tone of our conversations, in the patience we demonstrate and in the way we respond when their age makes them dependent upon us.
The Quran also draws particular attention to the mother’s physical and emotional journey. In Surah Luqman, Allah describes how a mother carries her child through hardship upon hardship and reminds humanity to be grateful to Him and to their parents. This is not an ordinary reference to motherhood. It is a divine acknowledgement of the pain, vulnerability and sacrifice associated with bringing another human being into the world.
The teachings of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) make this responsibility even more meaningful. In a well-known narration recorded in Sahih Muslim, a man asked the Prophet who deserved the best companionship from him. The Prophet replied, “Your mother.” When asked again, he repeated, “Your mother.” He gave the same answer a third time before mentioning the father (Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2548).
The repetition was significant. It was a reminder that a mother’s contribution to human life carries a responsibility that cannot be reduced to occasional gratitude or verbal appreciation.
But perhaps the most important dimension of this teaching is how we translate it into our daily lives.
We live in a time when people are increasingly occupied with professional commitments, social engagements, financial ambitions and digital interactions. We can spend hours communicating with people across the world but sometimes struggle to spare a few meaningful minutes for the mother sitting in the next room. We remember birthdays, anniversaries and social occasions, yet may overlook the quiet expectation of a mother who simply wishes to speak to her children.
There is a difference between celebrating a mother and being present for her.
A photograph shared on social media, a beautiful message or an expensive gift may express affection, but none of these can replace companionship, patience and practical care. A mother who has spent years listening to her children’s problems should not have to struggle to find someone willing to listen to hers.
The real test of our relationship with our mothers often begins when they grow older. The hands that once held ours may begin to tremble. The voice that comforted us may become weaker. The woman who managed countless responsibilities without complaining may now need assistance with the simplest tasks.
At that stage, Islam asks us to respond with humility rather than irritation. The Quranic instruction not even to say “uff” to ageing parents becomes particularly relevant. It teaches that dignity must not diminish with age, and dependence must never become a reason for disrespect.
There is another important dimension that deserves attention. Honouring mothers should not remain an individual family responsibility alone; it should also be reflected in the values we cultivate as a society. A society that claims to respect motherhood must create an environment where women receive dignity, security, emotional support and recognition for their contributions. The responsibilities of motherhood should not become an excuse to overlook a woman’s own identity, aspirations or wellbeing.
Islam’s emphasis on kindness towards parents also teaches us that respect does not depend upon convenience or agreement. Even when differences arise, the Quran instructs believers to maintain good companionship and speak with kindness. Such guidance establishes a moral standard in which disagreement does not become an excuse for cruelty.
And what about those whose mothers are no longer alive? Their responsibility does not end with the final farewell. They can continue to remember them through sincere prayers, charity and good deeds. The Quran itself teaches believers to pray: “My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up when I was small” (Surah Al-Isra, 17:24). It is a prayer that connects gratitude, memory and faith in a single expression.
Ultimately, the greatness of Islam’s message about mothers lies not simply in the elevated position it gives them, but in the responsibilities it places upon their children. It asks us to move beyond admiration and embrace action; beyond words and demonstrate care; beyond occasional remembrance and practise everyday kindness.
Perhaps we should reconsider how we measure our love for our mothers. It should not be measured by the number of times we describe their sacrifices, but by the patience we show when they repeat a question, the time we give when they need companionship, the respect we maintain when they become dependent and the prayers we make for them when they are no longer beside us.
A mother does not necessarily ask for extraordinary things. Often, she seeks a little time, a gentle conversation and the reassurance that she has not become a forgotten part of the lives she once devoted herself to building.
Islam has already given us the lesson. The question is whether we are living by it.
A mother’s place is not secured by the words we write about her, but by the dignity, kindness and companionship we offer her throughout her life.
Dr Rizwan Rumi is a columnist and educationist.
