Are you ok? It is a simple question, but sometimes it can mean a lot. The real question is not only whether we ask it, but whether we are ready to listen when someone says, “No, I am not okay.”
World Mental Health Day is celebrated on 10 October each year. The theme for this year was “Lived experiences heard: real voices, real change”, which calls for us to go beyond raising awareness. People who have faced issues related to their mental wellbeing have much to teach us. It is not enough to just listen to these experiences, but to learn from them and improve our mental healthcare services.
The importance of this discussion in Jammu and Kashmir is greater than ever because there are various sources of stress that affect our youth today. Academic exams, job prospects, unemployment, family pressures, economic stresses and constant comparisons with their peers and relatives weigh heavily on our youth. The youth may be asked to become a doctor, an engineer or even a government servant, while their own interests are overlooked.
Another source of stress in today’s age is social media. Our youth are always exposed to other people’s success, lifestyles and accomplishments. This might give rise to feelings of jealousy and inferiority behind a seemingly normal social media account.
The feeling of loneliness is yet another issue that cannot be ignored. One may be seated amidst their friends, classmates or family members and feel absolutely lonely. At times, people don’t necessarily require counselling before anything else. What they require at times is somebody who can sit and listen to them without passing any judgement on them.
It is essential to make students realise that one examination or one poor performance in an exam will not determine what will happen to their entire lives. It becomes even more difficult than taking the exam itself because of the fear of letting down their parents or being compared with others. We must make the youth realise that seeking help is no sign of weakness.
Moreover, there is another problem of silence related to gender issues. Boys are constantly told that they should “be men” and should not express their feelings, while girls have different kinds of problems associated with education, family, marriage and society in general.
As a student in nursing, I have realised that taking care of a patient entails more than just giving medicines, administering treatments, doing tests and checking vital signs. A patient is more than just a diagnosis. Behind every patient’s condition are fears, family issues, hopes and experiences. Listening is another form of taking care of patients.
From a psychiatric perspective, mental health issues must be identified and prioritised early. No one should have to reach a point of crisis for their pain to be prioritised. Privacy, confidentiality, trust and respect are required in order to encourage people to seek treatment.
Here comes a very important question. What happens when the time comes that a person decides to seek help? In the absence of safe counselling, proper referral, follow-up and nearby facilities, saying “seek help” alone will not do.
This is where colleges in Jammu and Kashmir can play an important role. Students require confidential counselling facilities, qualified personnel to detect any signs and links to professional services. Also, schools can include education regarding basic mental health so that from an early age, children are aware of their emotions and stress, and seeking help is seen as normal.
Even our rural areas require attention. Distance, lack of awareness and stigma regarding mental health issues might be among the hurdles facing people living far from big hospitals. Linking colleges, PHCs, DHs and psychiatric care facilities would be helpful in providing assistance to those in need. Tele-MANAS can be very useful for individuals facing difficulty in visiting mental healthcare facilities.
The role of the family cannot be overestimated. Sometimes, a young person just does not require a lecture on grades and profession. Sometimes, they need only one question: “What’s troubling you?” Listening does not mean agreeing with all ideas. It means that a person is able to talk without being judged at once.
We should avoid two extreme positions. Not every sadness requires a diagnosis of depression, and not every worry represents “overthinking”. Mental illnesses are sometimes casually self-diagnosed through social media, while true mental disorders remain unnoticed due to stigma. There is a need for responsible awareness, but not for self-diagnosis.
We should also listen to the families of those people with mental health issues. The process of taking care of someone may result in their own exhaustion and stress. They also require information and support.
Most importantly, perhaps, individuals who have experienced something should not just be told to “tell their story”. The personal experience of the individual must guide the formation of mental health services. When patients tell us they have been ignored, we need to know why. When students inform us that the counselling process is not a safe one for them, something needs to be done to address that. When families don’t know how to obtain services, then the system needs to make sense to them.
World Mental Health Day should not end with a poster, speech or Facebook post. It should leave us with one tough, but essential, question: What are we changing as a result of hearing their voices?
On 10 October, let us not just ask, “Are you okay?” Let us create societies where it is possible for someone to answer.
Because a quiet student might have something to say. Because a patient’s lived experience might teach us lessons. And because listening to those voices can lead us to better care.
When real voices are truly heard, real change can begin.
Dr Batula Rashid is the Head of the Psychiatric Department at Ramzaan College of Nursing and Paramedical Sciences, Galander, Pampore. Mohammad Arfat Wani is a writer, social activist and nursing student from Kuchmulla, Tral, Kashmir. wania6817@gmail.com.
