The emergence of digital culture has resulted in social media being referred to as a location of liberty, an environment that allows for your voice to be heard, your identity to be articulated, and your stories to be shared as well. For a great deal of Kashmiri women, however, the virtual realm is merely an extension of the degree of observation they receive, as well as the amount of control and erasure of agency that occurs offline.
By way of example, when a Kashmiri woman posts an image, shares an opinion, or expresses her life experience, she is subject to being a victim of harassment, shaming, and threats. What is noteworthy, and completely unfair, is that this sort of scrutiny usually does not apply to men. This double standard illustrates a bleak reality, whilst all women are penalized for being visible, men continue to receive immunity from even violent behaviours.
There is a routine of online harassment of Kashmir’s women. Whenever she uploads a picture onto the internet, there are many people who bombard her with comments that question who she is, where she comes from, and what she stands for. She will be told that she is the disgrace of her family or her community. They will dissect her outfit, criticise her body shape and assume she has poor intentions.
When a man posts the same type of picture (himself, an opinion, or even an exposed part of his anatomy) on the internet, people will typically praise what he has done or simply ignore him. This inequality is not an accident, but has taken a very long time to build as a result of a patriarchal societal view that treats a woman’s body and choice as communal property, subject to restriction and punishment.
Many times, the severity of the harassment becomes more intense once the moral policing can be attributed to religion and/or culture. Women will often be threatened that they are ruining society as a result of their actions, or as a result of their outfit attire, they are destroying values or calling down God’s punishment. In some cases, they have even made the claim that natural disasters (floods, earthquakes, etc.) are a direct result of women dressing a certain way or participating on social media.
Essentially, this shifts responsibility of natural disasters from the true reasons (environmental degradation, climate change, poor governance) to women themselves as a result of their clothing choices, resulting in an assumption that their clothing selections can change the course of natural events.
It is even more heartbreaking to know that I don’t know about this issue only because of social media, but also because of people in my own family as well. I often find myself arguing with relatives who believe women bring on problems by being less than invisible or outspoken or wearing certain clothing, being quiet is ultimately said to be the only virtuous way for a woman to live.
These discussions can be emotionally and mentally draining and only emphasise how much of an impact misogyny has on society, even with those who love you. All I try to do is explain that misogynistic ways of blaming women for the abuse and harassment they suffer are both detrimental and worrisome, because they let abusers get away with their behaviour, but these types of discussions often turn into animated arguments instead of shared understanding. I keep arguing back, because if I don’t argue back I feel like I’m compromising my beliefs and indicating that I support a perspective of a world where women are continually held responsible for the wrongdoings of men. And to be clear, no article of clothing, photo, or social media post causes rape, violence or other acts of evil like natural disasters.
Perpetrators make a choice to commit their acts of violence and systems fail to protect. Therefore, the responsibility lies with abusers and the societies that shield them. Women do not deserve blame simply for existing in a public space.
To create sustainable change, collective action on multiple fronts is required. Families and communities must work to challenge their instinct to police, regulate or restrict women’s choices and instead commit to teaching boys about respect, consent, and accountability. Religious and cultural leaders must stop using faith as a weapon against women and boldly condemning all forms of brutality. Social media companies must do a better job of enforcing policies regarding harassment, especially in underrepresented languages where these acts occur without accountability.
Finally, laws must be enforced in favor of victims, never against them. Women from Kashmir are authors, creative artists, academia, as well professional working women. Just as men do, they deserve to express themselves openly and freely without fear of being shamed or hurt. Silence does not serve to preserve a culture, a religion or any other aspect of those two collective groups, rather silence serves to protect wrongdoings. When women are attacked in an online forum in Kashmir it is not about modesty, moral standards or tradition, it is about exerting force over an individual. The fact that an individual male is able to walk without any consequence means our society has made it clear which individuals in our society are valued by the members of that society.
Intervening between the power imbalance between men and women is not only an issue of gender, it is a matter of conscience. Until people are held responsible for wrongdoings, until gender inequality is replaced by a standard of equity, women will have to continue to use whatever they have at their disposal to get the attention of others in order to establish their presence in what is becoming another battlefield within the digital space.
Email: shaguftawani709@gmail.com
