“Home is where you can say anything that you like, because nobody listens to you anyway”, was probably said, with a tongue in cheek. Yet listening, definitely, is an acquired art. We are all so full of our own bubble and froth, that it’s a cacophony of sound and fury, out there. A native American proverb warns us ”listen or thy tongue will keep thee deaf”. The filmy, shout out, of ”ajji sunte ho ji” or ”main keha ji kithhe marr gaye ho ?”, is a frantic, distressed, frumpled and often disgusted, cry for a non-listening male in a lady’s life. We often have, selective hearing maladies, when we, conveniently choose to be deaf, if it suits our mean little, selfish minds.
Wise is the man who listens to the chatter and rumblings of the world, for he is learning, with each passing second. If we gabber and pontificate, nonstop, how are we ever going to know anything at all.? The blinkers on the horse’s eyes, could well have been, substituted by ear plugs, for humans. Spouting off, whatever trivial knowledge, we have accumulated, in our lives, we take it upon ourselves, to expound and preach to the silently and solemnly hearing masses. Those who listen, watch too, they know our innermost cores by our expressions, twitches and grimaces et al. The listeners are the brilliant ones, who hear so intently, that they can exhaust the speaker, with their patience. Thank God for these benevolent souls, for they are the original counsellors and psychiatrists. The ‘udhav’ of the gopis, and the ‘sakhi -sahelis’ of distraught damsels. The character of the ”dost”, in films is a convenient sounding board, a gent who hears out the woes and the worries of the so called ”hero”, with his cringing ‘tragic flaw”. It truly is easy to lay down laws and to sermonize, but mighty is the one, who hears, what is not even being said. Those who listen to, the silences between your words, are the real bounty. The most precious gift, you can give anyone, is your attention. ‘Meri gal suno sardaar ji, tussi chalo ajj bazaar ji, do tin cheezaan lainiyaan, tussi kareyo na inkaar ji ”. The idyllic world where ”kya kehna hai, kya sunna hai – jaane kya tune kahi, jaane kya maine sunni, baat kuchh ban hi gayi – unko yeh shikaayathai ki hum kuchh nahi kehte, apni toh yeh aadat hai ki hum kuchh nahi kehte ”
Lily Swarn is an internationally acclaimed poet, novelist, and essayist, author of 10 books. She is the 2023-24 International Beat Poet Laureate India and a Peace and Humanity ambassador. She can be reached at sukhish83@gmail.com.
