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When parents become strangers!

A crisis slaying our family structures

Dr. Bilal Ahmad by Dr. Bilal Ahmad
December 11, 2025
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Let us rebuild what is quietly breaking. Let us give our children not just education, but our time, our warmth, and our presence — so they grow into adults who hold their parents not as burdens, but as blessings

In our society today, we are witnessing a painful and growing reality: many parents, especially in their old age, find themselves living in a state of emotional seclusion. They feel ignored, sidelined, and sometimes completely forgotten by their own children. This troubling shift in family dynamics compels us to pause and introspect with seriousness. How did we arrive at this point? Why are parents receiving such a poor emotional response from the very children whom they nurtured with care?

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To understand this gap, we must revisit the beginning of a child’s journey. When a child is born, he enters this world in a state of fitrah — pure, innocent, and deeply attached to his caregivers. But soon, barely after spending three tender years with parents, the child is entrusted to crèches and pre-schools. At the age of five, he steps into a school routine that keeps him away from home from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m.

Once back home, instead of reconnecting with parents, many children are dispatched to tutorials for extra hours of academic pressure. And whatever leftover time remains is often swallowed by the cold glow of mobile phones placed in their hands. Thus, the company, warmth, and emotional nourishment that should come from parents gradually shrink.

For nearly three decades — through school, college, and university — children grow up spending more time with institutions, gadgets, and external influences than with their own parents. Naturally, this limited emotional interaction during childhood weakens the parent-child bond. The consequences appear years later: when such children grow up, some of them develop a hostile or indifferent attitude toward parents. They neither miss them, nor care deeply for them, nor bother to understand their needs. The bond becomes faint, almost invisible — not because they are inherently uncaring, but because the connection was never nurtured consistently.

This widening emotional distance is not the result of a single failing, but the cumulative effect of a system where parents unintentionally outsource most of their children’s upbringing. The hostile reaction we see in adulthood is only a manifestation of a bond that remained underdeveloped in childhood.

Parents need to reclaim the early years — the years when affection, stories, shared meals, and meaningful presence weave the fabric of lifelong love. No amount of schooling, coaching, or screen time can replace the emotional security found in a parent’s voice, lap, or gentle guidance.

The need of the hour is not just to reflect, but to act. Let us rebuild what is quietly breaking. Let us give our children not just education, but our time, our warmth, and our presence — so they grow into adults who hold their parents not as burdens, but as blessings.

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