By: Umer Riyaz
The world celebrates the International Day of Friendship annually in July 30 after it was approved by the United Nations General Assembly in 2011. Bear in mind that friendship between peoples and countries, cultures and individuals can become an inspiring factor for peace efforts at individual as well as community and inter-country levels and constitute an opportunity to build bridges between societies and respect cultural diversity.
Our world faces many challenges, crises and divisive factors including poverty, violence, human rights violations, mistrust and many others- all these work to undermine peace, security, development and social harmony among people and countries. To confront these challenges, the root causes must be addressed by strengthening the spirit of human solidarity and brotherhood. This spirit takes many forms and the simplest is ‘friendship’.
Studies over the centuries have indicated that Friendship is the basis of social institutions and exists in all stages of life. Aristotle says: “Friendship is the most important thing in life.” In ‘Lisan al-Arab’ Ibn Manzur says: “Friendship is honesty, and honesty is the opposite of lying. Thus, friendship is honesty sincerity of advice and brotherhood. Ibn al-Muqaffa says: “the brothers of honesty are the best gains in this world, and they are an adornment in prosperity, a tool in hardship, and a help in life and future, so do not neglect to acquire them and seek connections and means to them.”
Perhaps one of the best expressions is the phrase of Imam Ibn al-Jawzi, who says: “The person whose company is appreciated should have five qualities- He should be of sound mind, good character, not immoral, not an innovator, and not keen on this world.” He also adds that, “and whoever has all these qualities, his companionship will not only benefit in this world, but will also benefit in the hereafter. This observation by Jawzi is based on the words of some Suhabas and Tabieen as they would insist: “make many honest brothers, for every believer will have intercession on the Day of Resurrection.”
Friendship is a relationship based on emotional sharing, trust and is distinguished from other social relationships by continuity, without direct material benefit, and the availability of a degree of sharing in personality patterns, thinking, behavior and self-abilities and tendencies.
Almighty Allah says: “Friends on that Day will be enemies to one another except the righteous” (Al-Zukhruf: 67). The concept of friendship in the sense of a good companion was also mentioned in the Prophetic hadiths as He (PUBH) said: “Do not keep company with anyone but a believer, and let no one eat your food except the pious.”
Our noble religion has not overlooked the importance of human relationships, including friendship, so Islam sets clear rules for how to choose a friend so that it has solid foundation and benefits the individual and society at large. The Prophet (PUBH) urged us to choose a friend well, and our selection should not be based on a desired interest or benefit, but rather on love and brotherhood for the sake of Allah. He PUBH says: “A man follows the religion of his friend, so let each one of you see who he is with.”
A person is affected – consciously or unconsciously – by the interaction with his companion and friend, and therefore he should carefully consider who he chooses for friendship and companionship. Good friends are those who guide you to obedience of Almighty, they do not deceive, betray and do not lead each other to heresy, misguidance, immorality, or injustice. They have come together to love each other. Then, if someone commits a sin, his friend forbids him and rebukes him because he loves what is good for him. The Prophet (PUBH) said: “The believer is the mirror of his fellow believer.”
God Almighty says: “And be patient with those who call upon their Lord in the morning and the evening; seeking his countenance. And let not your eyes pass beyond them desiring adornments of the worldly life, and do not obey one whose heart we have made heedless of our remembrance and who follows his desire and whose affair is ever neglect”. (Al-Kahaf: 28)
Many biographers and authors noted that the Messenger (PUBH) was the best friend who fulfilled his duties towards his companions and fulfilled the obligations and etiquette of friendship, which made his companions love him more than they loved their families and relatives. He said, “Allah has servants who are neither prophets nor martyrs. The prophets and martyrs carp them because of their position before Almighty.” The Companions said: “Who are they, O Messenger of Allah?” He said: “They are a people who love each other for the sake of Allah without having any ties between them or sharing any wealth. By Allah, their faces will be full of brightness, and they will be on podiums of brightness (Nur). They will not be afraid when people will be afraid, and they will not panic when people will panic”.
According to a hadith: “Allah will say on the Day of Resurrection: Where are those who love each other? By My Majesty, today I will shade them in My shade on a day when there is no shade but My shade.
So, beware of accompanying a liar, a thief, a hypocrite, a traitor, a false witness, or someone who commands him, because temperaments influence and you must be in the company of good people. Befriend the righteous among the dead also by reading their biographies and learning about their history.
Friendship is classified as the highest social relationship, as it is based on the principle of compatibility between two people without any interests. But scientific studies indicate that our need for friends goes much deeper than just having a good time. Psychologists, biologists, and neuroscientists have discovered that friendship has health benefits for humans as well.
The benefits of friendship on health have also been proven in the research studies. The journal “Research on ageing and social policy” published a study entitled “This Brings you to Life” The impact of friendship on health And Well-Being in Old Age: The Case of the La Vernida Learning Community by Susana Leon Jiménez in university of Barcelona. The study showed how friendships built in adult schools operating for over 40 years had a positive impact on well-being and health of people.
The writer is Research Scholar, Department of Arabic BGSB University, Rajouri
Email: meeromer468@gmail.com
