The Devastating Impact of Hatred on Relationships
By: Khursheed Ahmad Rather
Hate is a potent emotion that lingers long after it takes root in one’s heart. When directed outward, it’s both loathsome and perilous, driving individuals towards violence and destructive behaviors. This scourge poses a significant threat to our familial ties, leading to deep-seated anguish and a lack of inner peace.
People who hate others cannot find solace until they learn to love them.How can one expect to be happy when they harbor hate and try to obliterate others? A jealous individual can go to any lengths to satisfy their selfish desires, even if it means robbing someone else of their joy. They fail to consider the consequences of their actions and are indifferent to the harm they cause. Though brief, any solace that they derive from wreaking havoc on someone’s happiness is short-lived. This wickedness takes a toll on their creativity, intelligence, and ultimately, their relationships.
The expression of hatred in one’s heart is toxic to oneself and those around them. It’s impossible for someone with hatred in their heart to find peace. Our grandparents had simple lives, yet they exudedcontentment and were inseparable. Their secret? They respected each other and had pure hearts. They cared about the feelings of others and treated their neighbors with kindness. In those times, it was commonplace for people to visit each other daily, exchange pleasantries, and offer a helping hand in times of trouble.
The anecdote my grandfather shared about my grandmother’s illness highlights the importance of kindness and compassion. When my grandmother fell sick, my grandfather took her to see a doctor, leaving their three-year-old son sleeping at home. When he returned late at night, he was pleasantly surprised to see that people from every householdin their community had gathered to inquire about my grandmother’s condition. Their presence and comforting words helped alleviate my grandmother’s pain, and she woke up feeling better the next day. This is a testament to the power of empathy and kindness.
Every human being deserves respect, and we should strive to be kind to one another. A cruel word or action can cause deep hurt, but when we treat others with kindness and respect, we receive the same in return. Hating someone hurts only oneself, not the person who is being hated. Our efforts should be directed towards building mutual respect which fosters positive relationships. A person can never be happy if they break someone’s heart.
The messenger of Allah, Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), said, “Do not desert one another, do not nurse hatred towards one another, do not be jealous of one another, and become as fellow brothers and slaves of Allah. It is not lawful for a Muslim to stop talking to his brother (Muslim) for more than three days” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim).
To overcome hatred, we must first seek to understand the person we despise. It’s essential to look beyond their shortcomings and see their strengths. When we understand why someone wronged us, we can empathize with them and develop compassion. This is a crucial step towards building positive relationships based on mutual understanding and respect. Hatred diminishes creativity, weakens the mind, and makes us feel lonely. We should strive to be friendly with everyone and embrace love to lead fulfilling lives.
(The author is a columnist pursuing B. A from GDC Kangan)
