By: Dr. Rohi
It is impossible to say that any type of abuse is worse than another. All abuses are damaging and they all have a severe impact on the victim’s psychological health. Not all kinds of abuse come with visible signs or warnings and abuse is not always physical or evident. One doesn’t need to have visible proof that someone is causing them harm.
Like other abuses, Emotional abuse can happen to anyone at any time in their lives. Children, teens and adults of any gender and race experience emotional abuse. It can have devastating consequences on relationships and all those involved. Just because there is no physical mark doesn’t mean the abuse isn’t real and isn’t a problem or even a crime. The scars from emotional abuse are more deep and long lasting than wounds from punches or slaps.
Emotional abuse is also known as psychological abuse or chronic verbal aggression. It can also be defined as any act including confinement, isolation, verbal assault, humiliation, intimidation, infantilization, or any other treatment which may diminish the sense of identity, dignity, and self-worth. The underlying goal of emotional abuse is to control the other person by discrediting, isolating, and silencing them. It is one of the hardest forms of abuse to recognize as it can be subtle and insidious. It can sneak up a person and hide in sweet words. Other times it comes in waves of complete silence. People who suffer from emotional abuse tend to have very low self-esteem, show personality changes and may even become depressed, anxious or suicidal. It gradually takes away one’s freedom, individuality and sense of self. Some studies have seen that emotional abuse may contribute to the development of conditions such as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia.
Someone abusing you may use different strategies to undermine your self-esteem. This may include name calling or insults, putting down your interests, character assassination, threats of violence, intentionally frightening, public embarrassment, making an individual fear that they will not receive the food or care they need. Besides, lying, insulting your appearance, making slanderous statements about an individual to others, socially isolating an individual, withholding important information, demeaning an individual because of the language they speak, intentionally misinterpreting traditional practices, repeatedly raising the issue of death, telling an individual that they are too much trouble, ignoring or excessively criticizing and being over-familiar and disrespectful etc too amount to the same phenomenon.
Emotional abuse can come from anywhere. The sources may include parents, siblings, spouse, friends and colleagues. Emotional abuse, like other types of abuse, tends to take the form of a cycle. In any kind of relationship, this cycle starts when one person emotionally abuses the other, typically to show dominance. The abuser then feels guilt, but not about what he or she has done, but more over the consequences of his or her actions. The abuser makes up excuses for his or her own behavior to avoid taking responsibility for what has happened. He or she resumes normal behavior as if the abuse never happened and may, in fact, be apologetic, making the victim believe that the abuser is sorry. The abuser begins to fantasize about abusing the victim again and sets up a situation in which more emotional abuse can take place. Some abusers yell and scream while some dehumanize you, shut you down and ignore you, but most abusers are a combination of both. Emotional abuse is sometimes hard to recognize, but it can leave scars. Abuse is never your fault and you don’t have to live with it. Do not fall into the trap of telling yourself that “it is not that bad” and try to minimize the other person’s behaviour.
I strongly feel that emotional abuse needs to be addressed and the silent suffering of countless people be brought to an end. You can take control of your life again. Make yourself a priority and stop blaming yourself. Build a support network by talking to the trusted family members, friends or a professional psychologist/counsellor/therapist about what you are experiencing and spend time with people who love and support you.
The author can be reached at rohi95jan@gmail.com
