Rashmi Talwar

Enmity between Johnson and Johnson’s scissors

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With G7 Summit underway, world leaders from seven wealthiest democracies gathered on the seaside town of Cornwall in Britain. As cameras zoomed in on each of distinguished leaders, it dawned upon me for the umpteenth time, that some of us humans still haven’t been completely and delightfully dazzled by the two arms of one of the most marveled contraptions of centuries past – the scissor!

A sparkling Boris Johnson- Prime Minister of United Kingdom continued to appear in his signature just-out-from-chicken-coop, to reinforce his signature hairstyling fashion statement, to the surprise of much of the world who hoped the marriage miracle would finally gift him the honorable beret haircut.

But it seems the wrestling bout continues to be played by the gleeful boyish Johnson with his feathered babies; after all the winged variety could have never gotten another chance at -Love all, with somebody as accomplished as a Prime Minister of the Queen’s own country.

I fail to fathom the exact fancy the birds take to a blonde English fur? Giving in to guesswork, I often wonder if it’s their shampoo-induced silkiness, smell, shine, or straight falls or the star-bearer that fascinates the winged ones unbelievably. Maybe all of it- no wonder the threads fall just the way ‘they’ desire to dress it!

Sometimes it seems he could have developed a soft corner for the birds, shoo away the sky-is-the-limit ones, only the coop variety will do; so infuriated was he with the human race. It was ok till his fascination stayed in-coops but he carried his fashion too far and too wide.

So far ordinary humans and the rest of the world leaders, wonder what the mystery behind the bloody loathing is between the Johnson’s and Johnson’s scissors. The wretched secret continues to baffle us, mortals, even as his longtime girlfriend Carrie joins him in holy matrimony and adds another Johnson to his clan.

Despite a bout of Covid-19, the newlywed facial glow duly occurred; love & marriage let loose that power; only its glowing sparkle crossed the facial plane and landed a bit higher.  It’s fascinating that he continues to out-shine and out-glow the world leaders not so much with his oratory, or imaginative proposals such as ‘Build Back Better World (B3W)’ by Joe Biden President of US, but with his loyalty to the golden flaxy sunrays on his terrace garden.

Of course, the garden gives off fresh sprouts of ideas, ultimately it’s the experience, which is your biggest teacher and shouldn’t be whiled away thus.  Britain did make a commitment at the summit – ‘To accelerate creation of vaccines for diseases transferred from livestock to humans’. The proposal is apt and will benefit humans. These proposals and thoughts do not come to those who do not know or care for bio-life. My thoughts rush towards a long-drawn, personal, and ground-zero experience and deep study of the behavior of at least the business of poultry, which may have triggered the bright idea. Of course, like others, I admit, I have no degrees of face, thought or hat reading and my logic could be completely flawed all the way. But I do know that the scissor-(censor)-happy, ambitious, conquest-driven Chinese, despite leading countries into debt-traps, over the seven seas, cannot ever find that rarefied scissor to trap an Englishman in spite of letting loose deadly microbes into the entire global aura.

Interestingly the average scissor has several parents and is known to have been born Before Christ BC, but somehow its tone and tenor has failed to entrance an English man, even its clickty-click at 10 years short of 66 has failed to click with the 56.

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