By: Bisma Farooq Sheikh
Our society is facing various ills and one of the greatest perils it is facing is the trend of late marriages. There are hundreds and thousands of young male and females who have crossed the age of 30s and they are not getting a mate or they are not ready for marriage yet. It is because we have set unrealistic parameters for selecting a life partner. Everyone has a right to chose his or her partner on the basis of his/her best interests so that he/she can be satisfied and live a happy married life. No one can deny this; but our society has made marriage very complicated because of irrational terms and conditions. There are thousands of girls of marriageable age from low income families whose parents long to get them married. Their low socio economic status becomes a cause of their rejection or they themselves delay because they can’t afford to marry at par with societal customs. They can’t afford to give their daughters huge amount of gold and they can’t afford prestigious wedding ceremony. Nikah has become too complicated due to extravagant marriages. Everyone is in a mad race.
HOW MALES ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR LATE MARRIAGES
There are lot many educated bachelors who cross late thirties but they don’t settle down because they want a wife who is a government employee. One may ask these gentlemen that whether they want a wife or a money maker.
There are so many gentlemen who reject girls because they set beauty as a parameter. They want glamorous spouses. They have objection in marrying simple modest girls: some gentlemen call modest girls conservative, orthodox; some want cool western type girls. No doubt everyone wants that his/her spouse should be good looking but beauty is not a best criteria to select a partner. A wife with beautiful face may sooth eyes but a wife with good character and etiquettes would sooth heart. She will enlighten ones world and hereafter. A beautiful face can never neutralise a weakness in character but a good character can neutralise weakness in beauty.
There are many gentlemen who have objection in marrying a girl who has other siblings too. They want to marry single born because they have notion that parents of a single child would pay more dowry and enough share in property.
HOW FEMALES ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR LATE MARRIAGES
There are many girls who didn’t marry till late thirties as they want they should get their dream job first. No doubt every girl has right to pursue a career of interest and make her own identity but that shouldn’t be the cause for delaying marriage.
There are many girls who are firm that they will marry a government employee with good designation. No doubt a man should have financial security. He should be financially independent. But does that mean men who are not in government service have no right to?
Like some gentlemen, some ladies too prefer a husband who is sole heir of his parents having o siblings so that they have not to deal with brothers and sisters-in-law. Family is a greatest blessing. When we don’t have any objection with our own siblings, someone’s siblings seem burden to us.
There was a middle class – well educated girl who didn’t get a mate for marriage for five years. To the great surprise the reason she was being rejected and dejected was not lack of beauty or moral character but the reason was she was not having a government job and; she had four sisters.
The menaces of late marriages have grave consequences which we overlook. It leads to infertility and various prenatal complications. Children of late married couples are more likely to be born with disability. Nikah is a way to protect social and moral values. Besides it adds to blessings and saves one from depression and loneliness. The value of a person is judged by his/her mentality rather than by his/her status.
Dear parents! Marry your daughters with those who will give them peaceful life not with those who will give them monetary things only. And dear men, chose a woman of character don’t set beauty or status as a parameter.
sheikhbismafarooq@gmail.com
