In most Kashmiri families, two scenes often unfold together- parents closely examining their child’s hair and quietly questioning life choices. One look at a Gen Z or Gen Alpha hairstyle— wolf cut. Curly mullet, shaggy mullet, broccoli haircut, coloured streaks, curtain bangs, baby braids—and the reaction is almost instinctive: “Yeh kya banaya hai sar ko?” “kalas kya chi kormut”
In Kashmiri culture, hair has always been a serious matter. A well-oiled head was proof of good upbringing. Natural oils such as coconut, almond, or mustard oil were commonly used. These products served both aesthetic (adding shine, aiding styling) and practical purposes (nourishing the scalp. Applying oil was an emotional insurance. Hair was typically pulled back or kept short to maintain a tidy appearance. A child leaving home without oil was enough to invite comments from neighbours: “Maa baap dhyaan nahi dete lagta hai.” “Tarbiyat chas na theek kinh!”These past links put parents of present generations in a fix while staring at purple highlights wondering if oil has officially been declared “outdated.”
For Kashmiri parents, the confusion deepens when boys grow their hair longer than their sisters, and girls ask for cuts that defy all logic of braids and clips. One parent summed it up perfectly: “Humne zindagi bhar baal sambhale, aur yeh fashion bana rahe hain.” To them, the hairstyle feels less like style and more like a personal challenge to generations of nani-dadi wisdom.
Then comes the extended family commentary. At every wedding or gathering, an aunt will whisper, “Yeh ladka hai ya ladki?” ” yi cha koor kin ladka?”while an uncle will confidently predict, “Aise baalon ke saath naukri mushkil hai.” parents keep on murmering, ” log humen kya bol rahe honge?” ” Lukh kya wanan aasan asi?”.Meanwhile, the child calmly scrolls through Instagram, completely unaware that their haircut has triggered a family seminar on culture, discipline, and the fall of civilisation.
Yet, beneath the humour lies genuine concern. Kashmiri parents worry about social judgment, safety, and future prospects in a society that still values conformity. In a place where traditions run deep, change feels louder—and hair, being the most visible change, becomes the easiest target.
For Gen Z and Gen Alpha, however, hair is just hair. Today it’s blue, tomorrow it’s back to black, straight to curly and vice versa. They don’t see rebellion but creativity and freedom of choice. What parents call “bigadna”, they call “being myself.”
Perhaps the solution lies somewhere between oil and highlights, curls and straight, short and long. Parents may not need to love every hairstyle, but they might accept that values don’t wash away with shampoo and style. Parents of Gen Z and Gen Alpha live between tradition and transition. Pressured by the old and challenged by the new, they must adopt a balanced approach—embracing their children’s modern expressions while respecting time-honoured values. And children might remember that behind every dramatic reaction is a parent who still believes that a neatly combed head leads to a neatly settled life.
After all, in Kashmir, fashions may change, but one thing will remain constant: whether the hair is long, short, coloured, or curly—logon ko baat karni hi hai… Lukh karan kath.
Author is a teacher and can be reached at : rwani48@gmail.com
