By: Mohd Younus Bhat
Swami Vivekananda once said, “The true test of a man and a woman begins after marriage. It is easy to love in dreams but difficult to love in reality.” This profound statement reflects the essence of marriage as a journey of growth, sacrifice, and shared responsibilities. However, this traditional understanding of marriage is increasingly being questioned, largely due to the influence of modern media narratives.
Raised in a culture that valued marriage as a lifelong commitment, a young couple initially embraced their roles as partners. However, exposure to vicious content and TV series’ portraying marriage as restrictive and outdated planted seeds of doubt in their minds. Watching characters prioritise personal ambitions over family life made them question whether marriage was necessary at all. Over time, these doubts led to growing discontent, and eventually, they chose to part ways, believing that their aspirations were more important than their union.
Marriage has traditionally been more than just a legal or social agreement — it is a sacred bond deeply rooted in cultural and religious traditions. Across various communities, it serves as a foundation for companionship, social stability, and the continuation of family lineage. However, in recent times, this age-old institution has come under scrutiny, with modern media playing a significant role in shaping perceptions.
For example, in Bollywood and Western entertainment, marriage is often depicted as restrictive, burdensome, or even unnecessary. Films and TV shows frequently emphasize personal freedom and career ambitions over familial responsibilities, leading many young individuals to question the relevance of marriage. A striking example is the Netflix series Indian Matchmaking, which sparked debates on whether arranged marriages are outdated, further reinforcing the idea that traditional marital setups are incompatible with modern aspirations.
The impact of such portrayals is evident in shifting societal attitudes. A 2021 study by the Pew Research Centre found that 44% of millennials consider marriage an outdated institution. This belief is often fuelled by narratives that prioritize individualism and personal fulfilment over collective family values.
Men are not masculine
While significant attention is given to the challenges faced by women, the struggles that men endure often go unnoticed. In India, traditional gender roles dictate that men must be the primary financial providers for their families. This societal expectation places immense pressure on them to secure stable employment, support dependents, and ensure financial security, often at the cost of their own mental and emotional well-being.
For instance, in many Indian households, even if both partners work, the primary responsibility of providing for the family still falls on the man. A young professional in any city, for example, may be expected to take on a high-stress corporate job to meet family obligations, even if he dreams of pursuing a less lucrative but fulfilling career in the arts. This burden can lead to anxiety, depression, and burnout, yet these struggles are rarely acknowledged.
According to the International Labour Organization (2022), men still account for 76% of the global workforce, highlighting the disproportionate responsibility they bear. Despite this, media narratives often portray men as privileged or emotionally detached, ignoring the sacrifices they make. Popular culture frequently reinforces the stereotype of the “strong, unbreakable man,” discouraging men from expressing vulnerability or seeking support. Movies and TV shows often depict men as either successful, career-driven individuals or irresponsible figures who fail to meet expectations, leaving little room for nuance.
Moreover, societal expectations extend beyond financial pressures. In the event of a divorce, men often face significant challenges regarding child custody and emotional well-being. Courts tend to favour mothers in custody battles, assuming that men are less capable caregivers. Additionally, legal frameworks such as Section 498A of the Indian Penal Code, originally designed to protect women from dowry harassment, have been misused in some cases, leading to false accusations and legal troubles for men.
Despite these hardships, men are often discouraged from voicing their struggles due to the stigma associated with male vulnerability. Mental health issues among men frequently go unaddressed, as seeking help is often perceived as a sign of weakness. A survey by the National Mental Health Survey of India (2016) found that men are less likely than women to seek psychological support, further exacerbating their struggles.
Selective Media Narratives
Media often thrives on controversy, portraying women as perpetual victims while overlooking the systemic challenges men face. This selective representation fuels a one-sided discourse, where the struggles of men — whether in family law, workplace rights, or mental health — are largely ignored.
Dr Warren Farrell, author of The Boy Crisis (2018), sheds light on how legal and social structures have evolved to favour women, often leaving men vulnerable. A striking example of this bias is evident in child custody battles. Studies indicate that in Western countries, mothers are awarded custody in 85% of cases, despite research suggesting that children benefit from having both parents actively involved in their upbringing (Journal of Family Psychology, 2021). However, such statistics are rarely highlighted in mainstream media, as they challenge the dominant victimhood narrative.
Consider the case of Indian actor Nawazuddin Siddiqui, who faced a prolonged and public custody battle with his estranged wife. Despite his claims of being a responsible father, legal and societal biases largely favoured the mother, reinforcing the notion that fathers are secondary caregivers. Similarly, in the U.S., actor Brad Pitt’s custody battle with Angelina Jolie saw him struggling to gain equal parental rights, despite no legal findings of unfit parenting. These cases reflect a broader pattern where men must fight harder to remain active participants in their children’s lives.
Beyond family law, workplace rights also reflect gendered disparities. Laws against workplace harassment, such as India’s Sexual Harassment of Women at Workplace Act (2013), rightfully protect female employees. However, there is no equivalent legal protection for male victims, despite studies showing that men, too, experience harassment but fear speaking out due to societal stigma. In corporate settings, initiatives promoting gender diversity often prioritize women, sometimes leading to reverse discrimination where men feel sidelined for promotions or leadership roles.
Anti-Men Bias -A Silent Crisis
Legal systems worldwide have introduced laws intended to protect women, but in many cases, these laws disproportionately favour them, often leading to injustice against men. This growing bias has resulted in wrongful arrests, ruined reputations, and severe emotional and financial distress for innocent individuals. However, mainstream media and policymakers rarely address these issues, allowing the crisis to persist unnoticed.
One of the most prominent examples is the misuse of Section 498A of the Indian Penal Code (IPC) — a law designed to protect women from dowry harassment. Over the years, this provision has been exploited, leading to thousands of false cases. According to the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) 2020, nearly 80% of cases filed under Section 498A were found to be baseless or lacked sufficient evidence, resulting in acquittals. Even the Supreme Court of India acknowledged in 2014 that this law was being misused, yet wrongful arrests and prolonged legal battles continue to devastate many innocent men. The bias extends beyond dowry laws to divorce and child custody cases, where courts overwhelmingly favour mothers.
False accusations of workplace harassment have also emerged as a major issue. In 2018, Subir Mehta, a senior executive in a multinational corporation, took his own life after being falsely accused of misconduct. Despite no substantial evidence, he was forced to resign, faced social backlash, and ultimately succumbed to the pressure. Cases like this highlight the devastating consequences of wrongful allegations, yet media narratives often overlook them.
The #MeToo movement, while crucial in exposing real cases of abuse, also saw instances where innocent men were falsely accused. A study by the National Sexual Violence Resource Centre (NSVRC) found that 2% to 10% of reported sexual assault cases are false, yet such instances rarely receive the same level of media scrutiny as genuine cases.
Selling Controversy for Profit
The entertainment industry and social media influencers wield immense power in shaping public opinion, often promoting content that challenges or outright undermines traditional values. With financial incentives and social clout at stake, many celebrities advocate for ideologies that prioritize individualism, materialism, and personal gratification over cultural and family values. This has contributed to a growing disillusionment with traditional gender roles, marriage, and family structures.
A 2023 report by the Media Research Centre found that 72% of top-grossing films and TV shows actively push narratives that conflict with family traditions. For example, Bollywood films that once glorified sacrifice, commitment, and familial duty now increasingly celebrate themes of personal freedom, extramarital affairs, and rebellion against cultural norms. Movies like Gehraiyaan (2022) depict infidelity as a form of self-discovery rather than a betrayal, subtly influencing younger audiences to question the sanctity of long-term commitments. Similarly, Hollywood productions like Don’t Look Up and Euphoria glamorize a hedonistic lifestyle, reinforcing the idea that traditional values are restrictive rather than stabilizing forces in society.
Beyond films, social media influencers amplify these narratives, often packaging controversial opinions as “progressive” or “modern.” Influencers on platforms like Instagram and TikTok promote self-indulgence, instant gratification, and non-traditional relationship dynamics, making these ideas seem aspirational. For instance, Andrew Tate, a polarizing social media figure, gained popularity by promoting extreme views on masculinity, wealth, and relationships, reinforcing hyper-individualistic ideologies among young men. On the other hand, influencers promoting radical feminism often depict traditional family structures as oppressive, creating a growing divide between genders rather than fostering mutual understanding.
Moreover, the glorification of materialism and individualism in pop culture has contributed to dissatisfaction with traditional gender roles. Many social media personalities promote luxury lifestyles and “hustle culture,” making financial success and self-interest appear more desirable than familial bonds and collective well-being. This shift has led to an increase in delayed marriages, declining birth rates, and rising divorce rates, as more people prioritize career aspirations and personal freedoms over long-term commitment.
Restoring Truth in Gender Narratives
Indian traditions have long provided a balanced and complementary approach to gender roles, recognizing the unique strengths, responsibilities, and contributions of both men and women. Rather than promoting competition, cultural teachings emphasize mutual respect, cooperation, and harmony within family and society. However, modern narratives, often shaped by external influences and misinterpretations, have distorted these traditional principles, leading to a growing divide between the sexes.
Historically, Indian philosophy and scriptures have depicted both genders as integral to societal stability. Ancient texts like the Manusmriti and Rig Veda highlight the role of women as scholars (brahmavadinis), warriors, and nurturers, while men were seen as protectors and providers. The concept of Ardhanarishvara, depicting Lord Shiva as half-male and half-female, symbolizes the inherent balance between masculine and feminine energies. Despite such profound teachings, colonial influences, Western feminism, and media distortions have led to an incomplete and often misleading representation of gender roles in India.
For example, modern discourse often equates tradition with oppression, ignoring historical instances where women held power and autonomy. Figures like Rani Lakshmibai, Gargi, and Maitreyi exemplify how Indian culture did not restrict women but instead provided avenues for leadership and intellectual growth. Similarly, traditional masculinity in India was never about domination but about responsibility, sacrifice, and duty — qualities that are now increasingly dismissed or ridiculed in mainstream media.
Final thoughts
The media’s distortion of gender roles and family values has led to widespread confusion, particularly among younger generations. Instead of succumbing to biased narratives, society must actively promote authentic knowledge based on history, tradition, and facts. Men and women must be encouraged to embrace their natural roles with dignity and mutual respect, rather than viewing them through a lens of rivalry.
The responsibility of restoring balance lies with scholars, educators, and individuals who must challenge misinformation and uphold family values. If we fail to act, the very foundation of our social and cultural beliefs will continue to erode, leading to increased division and instability.
Only through awareness, education, and active engagement can we counter the misleading narratives that threaten our traditions, our families, and our collective future.
The writer is a Senior Research Scholar, CSIR-NET, DST-INSPIRE fellow & Gold Medalist, School of Physical, Chemical & Applied Sciences (SPCAS), Pondicherry University.
