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Finding Match for a Daughter

Dr.Shiben Krishen Raina by Dr.Shiben Krishen Raina
July 5, 2024
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In the serene valley of Kashmir, long before the shadows of displacement fell upon its people, especially on Pandits, lived a renowned astronomer, Dr. C.L. Kaul. His home in Rawalpora was a beacon of knowledge, drawing curious minds like moths to a flame. As a senior scientist, his wisdom illuminated the intricacies of the cosmos for those eager to learn.

Among his frequent visitors was Brij Krishen Das, my longtime friend and college mate, who ran the once-famous M-Das Chain of Schools in the valley. Das often brought his two daughters along to Kaul Sahib’s house, hoping they would bask in the glow of Dr. Kaul’s vast astronomical knowledge. On the rooftop of his home, Dr. Kaul would point out various celestial bodies/instruments, explaining concepts like the imaginary axis of Earth’s rotation, Mars, the Pole Star, and the mind-boggling distances between stars measured in light-years. His audience, captivated, silently marveled at his extraordinary cosmic wisdom.

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As the 1990s dawned, the Kashmiri Pandit community, including the families of Das and Dr. Kaul, faced forced expulsion from their homeland by separatist forces. Unlike many others, Das initially resisted leaving Kashmir, remaining even as militancy reached its peak. It was only after some of his trusted Muslim friends urged him to seek safety and thus, he reluctantly relocated to Jammu.

In Jammu, Das established a school, a remnant of the once-thriving chain of educational institutions he had run in the Kashmir valley. By this time, I had already left the region, but I frequently visited Jammu where my parents and other relatives had also migrated.

During my visits to Jammu, Das made it a point to meet me. Our conversations were rich with shared memories and current experiences. Das proved to be an invaluable source of information, offering profound insights into Kashmir’s political landscape, the origin of militancy, and the intricate web of relationships he had cultivated across various community sectors in Kashmir. His firsthand experiences and deep understanding of the region’s complexities made our discussions both enlightening and poignant, bridging our past in Kashmir with our present circumstances. These meetings not only rekindled our connection but also provided a unique perspective on the evolving situation in our homeland.

It was during one of these discussions that the story related to Dr. Kaul and his astronomical endeavors came up. Eventually, Das introduced me to Dr. Kaul as well.

By the early 21st century, both gentlemen, now living in exile, began placing matrimonial advertisements in “Koshur-Samachar,” a popular magazine among Kashmiri Pandits, seeking suitable matches for their daughters. As I, too, was in search of a good match for my elder daughter, I had started contacting agencies, priests, astrologers, and others who specialized in finding suitable matches for their clients.

Coincidentally, one day, I met Dr. Kaul at a horoscope matching center. After some conversation, Dr. Kaul revealed that he had sent some horoscopes to a priest for compatibility-analysis and was waiting for the results. Surprised, I exclaimed, “Despite being a famous astronomer/scientist, you believe in horoscope matching?” To this Dr. Kaul’s response was deeply touching. He said that he was a father first and a scientist later.

This poignant anecdote illustrates the complex interplay between rationality and emotion, science and tradition. It reminds us that even the most logical minds can be swayed by the heart when it comes to matters of family and cultural practices. The story also subtly touches upon the tragedy of displacement, showing how it affected the lives of Kashmiri Pandits across all walks of life, from school owners to renowned scientists.

Conclusively, as stated, the incident serves as an evidence to the intricacies of human nature. It persuades us to embrace rational thinking in our professional endeavors while simultaneously prompting us to cling to deeply-held traditions and beliefs in our personal lives. This contrast underscores a fundamental truth: beneath our varied roles and porticos, we are all fundamentally human-beings, replete with an array of complexities and apparent contradictions.

The writer is a Former Fellow, IIAS, Shimla (H.P), currently in Bengaluru (Karnataka)

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