By: Shabangi Mushtaq
Narrated Al-Miqdad ibn al-Aswad: I swear by Allah, I heard the Messenger of Allah (SAW) saying: “The happy man is he who avoids dissensions: happy is the man who avoids dissensions; happy is the man who avoids dissensions: but how fine is the man who is afflicted and shows endurance. Sahih (Al-Albani)” – Sunan Abi Dawud 4263
The messenger of Allah (ﷺ) suggested thrice that the road to happiness is achieved by avoiding dissensions, i.e. to avoid getting into disagreements with people.
The wisdom in this teaching is to avoid having unnecessary disputes. This is particularly useful in the age of social media ascertain platforms like Twitter and Facebook can be breeding grounds for dissensions and conflicts. It is our responsibility to use them wisely.
When we are dealing with people behind screens, it makes disagreeing far too easy and we need to be mindful of this. Any criticism online is public for all to see and will remain for all times, so any opposing view can feel like an attack. It is a very unnatural form of communication and can reveal the worst in people. It is no wonder many studies have come out discussing the rise of anxiety, depression and isolation linked with increased social media use.
This hadith does not advocate taking a backseat or staying silent. It rather directs us to learn to resolve our differences through constructive dialogue and compromise andto strive to avoid dissension and promote peace and harmony in our communities. And if we feel this can’t be achieved, we should take the path that Prophet Shuaib (as) did when he made the following du’a’ after people disagreed with him: Our Lord, decide between us and our people in truth, and You are the best of those who give decision. (Qur’an 7:89)
Sometimes discussions can unknowingly morph into some kind of battlefield, and we should stop to ask, what’s the point? What exactly is it that I am trying to accomplish?
It’s easy to get into arguments just to joust verbally. Somehow our pride and ego get intertwined, and we feel the urge to try and come out on the other side as the victor. Viewing conversations in this light is rather unproductive. Being on the losing end requires the admission of some wrongdoing or a way we may have failed. It’s a tough pill to swallow and we should be cognizant of that if we care about the other person.
Hence, what we need to do is to be more vigilant and rather humble towards people around us. The more we understand and accommodate, the more our relationship, dignity and honour would increase. The society is an institution which is completely dependent on our day-to-day activities. The more sensible and rational we try to become the more sound, stable and peaceful society we will get.
To achieve this goal, what we need to do, is to work strongly against the menaces like prejudice, animosity, selflessness and stubbornness, backbiting and criticising people without knowing the logic behind their actions, words and reactions. We can easily replace these bad emotions by good ones only through the policy of being resistive and by avoiding futile dissensions, discords and differences. The immediate reaction and response always invite arguments and end in disagreements.
