By: Yasir Farooq Badana
Every child is unique, therefore their education should also be – Jeannie Filpright
Parents are constantly comparing their child to others. While this can be a source of great pride, it can also become a source of worry that something is wrong with our children or that we are doing something wrong as parents. Every child is different and every child develops differently, have different personalities, posses different strengths and require different kinds of support to meet their individual needs.
There is a merciless and competitive world out there and in this crazy world, everybody wants to grow toppers and rankers. Everybody wants a genius for a kid Doctors, Engineers, IAS/IPS, MBA. Nothing less is tolerated. 95%, 96%, 98% and even 100%, anything less is blasphemy. Isn’t it?
But for God’s sake, think that every child has his/her own capabilities, his/her own dreams, own desires and own interests. But no each finger has to be pulled until it gets longer, pull away until it finally breaks. Forcing your dreams onto the delicate shoulders of children is worse than child labour. What if the child cannot bare the load of your dreams?
All children develop at their own pace and in their own way. They grow and develop at different rates. It is normal for children to experience developmental spurts and slow spots in different areas of their development overtime. If your child is little ahead or a little behind at a certain age this is normal. Most of the time given the right nurturing and stimulation all children will catch-up in the end.
All children have different strengths and vulnerabilities. Some are good at sports, others music and some are good in painting. Some are very academic and some are not. Some are highly anxious and others are more relaxed. Some children are good sleepers and others wake through the nights for years.
If you are feeling that your child is not upto your expectation, it is normal to lack confidence in your parenting at some points. Share your experiences with others parents, friends and family. You will find you are not alone. Sharing common experiences can reassure you that you are on the right track and will give you improved confidence. Adaptability and flexibility are the key ingredients to parenting.
Remember, we can’t run our society only by engineers and doctors. The minds behind the light bulb, electronic voter, and phonograph as well as rival to fellow scientist Tesla, were primarily home schooled. Mukesh Ambani, Kapil Dev, Sachin Tendulkar, Azim Premji, Amir Khan, Mary Kom and many more proved that success is not only achieved through academic degrees.
They have all made their mark by following their dreams and almost all of them have unanimously agreed that sticking to your best beliefs is the best way to make it happen. A plumber is equally important as a doctor to run the society in a smooth way. Every person, every profession is equally important and remember every child is distinctive.
Please stop comparing your child to others and if you are really concerned about your child or need support with your parenting seek assistance. This is a sign of strength not weakness.
- The writer can be reached at ravilfarooq786@gmail.com
