Dr. Shahid Amin Trali

An Obituary: My Father: My Hero!

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‘Without you my beloved father, my life would be less colorful. You have always taught me that sacrifice and hard work is something that must be done for those we love. You will always be the most amazing person and a hero for me’.

Dr. Shahid Amin Trali

There are people who help us create memories worth holding onto for a lifetime. Life is like a tale, and the people we meet and associate with are the characters. Some characters are big and some are small ones. Some are indisputable and sincere while some are unkind and mean. We meet people who turn their back to us in times of need. Some harm and break us in ways we have never imagined. But some good characters lift us up, boost our morale and make us stronger. Regardless of those different characters and their roles in our life, together they each carry a purpose- they give us a vital lesson in life.

And then there are characters, they love us unconditionally and beyond limits, trust us and stay with us. They are more close to our heart and souls. And those strong characters belong to our family. With everything constantly changing around, there is one thing that always stay safe and unchanged and that is family. Our family is made up of people that bring out the best in us. They are the people who are always cheering for us and truly want the best for us. Our parents face the struggles and the sacrifices to give us comfort. We should always admire their hard work they put into building us as good humans. Parent’s love and affection is unshakable and without any greed. We must love and respect our parents for they deserve the best. It is they who may have suffered unbearable pains for us. We never know the love of our parents for us; till we become parents. Without any doubts, parents are the most important and influential people we will ever encounter on this earth. They are always ready to catch us when we fall. They constantly remind us of the love. The greatest gift they give to us is life and love.

Amongst the parents there is one strong character who has a huge role and that is father. There is so much more to the important role of being father in a child’s life. Father is central to the emotional well-being of his children. Good numbers of researches reveal that if any child’s father is affectionate, supportive, and involved, he can contribute greatly to his child’s cognitive, language, and social development, as well as academic achievement, a strong inner core resource, sense of well-being, good self-esteem, and authenticity. I am not an exception and received all good values that I possess from my beloved father.

Ah! I lost my father recently who was more of a friend, caring and supportive to our family.  The loss of one’s father marks one of the most profound rites of passage in our life.  I firmly believe my father will continue providing me the strength and support. It’s been a month now since you left us Daddy. And we miss you terribly. There are times we forget you have left us, and there are times we can’t believe it.  The last thing you said to me before leaving to Gwalior was, “Go, Allah will be your care taker and you don’t know we will meet next time or not”. Ah! If I’d known you wouldn’t be there in my next visit to home, I’d never have left.  Daddy, you pushed me to the best and also loved me unconditionally with every possible ounce of your heart that you could. In your life, you gave me so much and, at the end of yours, I couldn’t gather myself together to do the same.  I’m sorry for the things in my life that I’ve kept hidden. Believe me I always have a pure heart and efforts towards making your life enriched and prosperous but Allah had other intentions. I’m sorry for the awful things I ever said to you when they were far from the truth of your character. I wonder if we ever thanked you my beloved father! For all the sacrifices and troubles you faced. To let us have the best of the comforts? I regret and deeply regret that I never told you “I love you.” I’m sorry I never set my pride aside in time to express it. You did the best that you could but I’ve never been more grateful for the life you laid out for me. True we have forgotten to show our love and thankfulness for all the things you did. Words are short to express our gratitude. And Ii am hoping you knew it all along, how much you meant to all of us.

Daddy you were a model of truthfulness and sincerity. You were very pious, religious and a kind hearted soul. I remember how you challenged illness but never forgot to recite Quran and offer five times prayers a day. You were kind to everyone including birds and animals. I salute you for offering shelter to strangers in our home. I remember how you taught us to feed birds and animals before we started our own meals. An exceptional son and no one can match your selfless love for your mother. I remember how you washed your mother’s feet one day and treated the same water as a medicine to cure all your diseases. This faith and belief only angels can show to such a great extent. I remember your great love and affection for your relatives and friends. You were a symbol of religious harmony where you have great friends in Hindus and Sikhs. They looked at you better than their own brothers. You were an exception who took greatest care of handicapped nephew for thirty odd years. When your last Gusul (Last Bath) was performed, Azaan (Prayer Call) was also called. Your last wish was to offer prayer in a mosque and you reached there at the same time….I could find ‘Noor’ (pious light) on your face while leaving this world. Surely you will be offered a good place in heaven (Aameen).

You know that I miss you so much my beloved father. I want you to be back but have to accept a bitter truth. It is a fact of life that nothing but death is certain in life. I want that strong, emotional and kind and caring father to come back and wrap me up again. Without you my beloved father, my life would be less colorful. You have always taught me that sacrifice and hard work is something that must be done for those we love. You will always be the most amazing person and a hero for me. I will forever look up to your teachings. Daddy I promise to make you and our family proud till my very last breath in life.

  • The author is Assistant Professor, ITM University Gwalior and can be reached at [email protected]

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